too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
