If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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