hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
