idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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