So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
