Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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