did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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