Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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