His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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