I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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