So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
