3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
