and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
