I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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