Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
