Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
