He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
