there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
