my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
