I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize