fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
