Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
