who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
tell me about the fingering
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
