Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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