All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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