...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
