sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
