just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Don't EVER smell your tampon
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
