this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
