You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
