I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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