Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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