Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
