I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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