Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
