I want to have your abortion
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
