So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize