wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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