Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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