He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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