id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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