Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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