chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
