In the future we'll all be gay
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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