God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
we're making bets on your personal life
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
