This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
