you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
