**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My bed smells like the plague
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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