dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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