Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize