Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
