Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
