this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
