you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
