Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
