i will never coherently bang her
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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