Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
