woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize