Can Purell be used as lube?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
