im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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