Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
