And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
